


I made the worst Hamilton shippings I could think of a fic on ao3

by ourloveisslushies



Series: Not to brag but literally the worst possible shippings ever [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M, I didnt know what fandom to put this in, I need to stop this, M/M, dont read, hopefully i chose right, i cant even, more heathers references, or laugh cus its just a joke, pls laugh, small heathers reference, writing this made me so uncomfortable, you'll get mad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:48:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ourloveisslushies/pseuds/ourloveisslushies
Summary: Just the worst hamilton pairings you can imagine, continue reading if you must.





	I made the worst Hamilton shippings I could think of a fic on ao3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Georgie boy and Theodosia getting freaky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to personally apologize to everyone who reads this

Theodosia knew her relationship with young upstart Aaron Burr was wrong, especially being married to a British officer, however, she also knew the wrongdoings of those lobsterbacks. But now she was worried for him, they were in the middle of a revolution! What was she to do, wait for a letter saying her estranged lover got shot by a cannon, watch the blood and the shit spray? No, she must be brave, she must do what she has to, to hold on to the only good thing in her life. And so she would

She rushed down the street, winter in the north wasn't a pretty sight however, it would be worth it to get some closure. Theodosia hustled making her way toward the Honorable General Washington's abode. She had been without Burr for some time and desperately needed him home, she figured Washington would know of his whereabouts 

As she approached his living quarters, she did feel herself get somewhat flustered, she was about to talk to the George Washington! As if that wasn't breathtaking enough, he wasn't too bad in looks, not to mention his large nose. And you know what they say about guys with large noses, right ;)? It has a direct correlation with the size of their peni (that was the word used back then), whoops that's not appropriate. No, what was she thinking? Penes (the plural version of peni)? Noses? Get a hold of yourself, Theodosia!

Not only Burr but her husband too had left her. She needed a man who could keep her satisfied, so you better shape up you better understand 'cus her heart is set on you. But Theodosia could never betray her husband like that, or her side ho Aaron whom she was betraying her husband with, however, Theodosia felt this yearning feeling in her heart (among other places) to be loved again. She musn't give into her amorous temptations, no she shan't. As she knocked on Washington's door she could feel those thoughts creeping up on her: 'You should jump on Washington and dead girl walking his face', 'what if you take off all your clothes and then bear hug him' ' it's really chilly, we need some way to get warm Mr. Washington ;)'. 

Quickly discarding her naughty thottie thoughts Theodosia entered Washington's home, after being invited in by one of the servants, of course, she was to wait until Washington was ready to see her. A busy man, after all, though not busy enough if you know what I'm saying. She sat quietly by the fireplace as she waited, from what she could tell, no Martha Washington is sight, which was somewhat not a good thing. She wanted to stay loyal to her man Burr, and to her husband, I guess, somewhat. But this temptation is too strong, and with no waifu around say goodbye to your reputable laifu. 

"Mrs. Prevost, It would appear the General is up to his knees work, is this meeting you wish to have quick?" Oh, yes a quickie, even better, "Yes, I just wish to ask of Aaron Burr's whereabouts" Theodosia said as she stood up and dusted herself off, she wanted to look presentable for the general. "If that's the case, move right along, Washington has no time to spare." the servant said, gesturing to George Washington's study room. Being in the same room as Washington sounded thrilling enough, but being in the room where it happens, the room where it happens was just exquisite. _It was delicious. ___

____

__"General Washington?" Theodosia said shakily, though she wasn't sure if it was for her desire, the cold temperature outside, or the fact that she was sure in all his generosity Washington would know why she's really here, and slap her, and not in the place she really was looking to be slapped. "Oh, yes hello Mrs. Prevost, what might bring you here during this frigid temperatures?" Washington asked politely, but kind of force, he really was a busy man._ _

____

"Forgive me for asking but I have been without my dear friend Aaron Burr for some time and I figured out of everyone in this godforsaken town of New Jersey, I don't know if you've heard but everything is legal in New Jersey, continuing on, at least you would know where my dear Burr is. Perhaps you could enlighten me?" Theodosia said desperately to show she had been without a man for some time while also leaning forward 'out of desperation', but also to show cleavage. 

____

"Oh yes, last I knew of Burr was in Quebec when general Montgomery caught a bullet in the neck and well in summary, I don't actually know anything other than that, my apologies, is there anything else I might be able to do for you?" 

____

Well, there is one thing... Its so cold outside and I'm afraid a frail ol' woman like me won't last in the dead of night all alone, I hate to ask but if y'all would show me some of that sweet ol' Washington hospitality and I'd be so ever thankful," Washington was confused by her statement. "Oh! Bless your heart, I'm as happy as a pig in the mud right about now; Mr. Washington, you're the pride and joy of Mount Vernon!" since when was Theodosia southern? But regardless he nodded with a confused face anyways. 

____

"I feel so bad to burden you with someone such as myself, so is there anything that I could be of help with? I'm sure I could manage to help with something." Theodosia said inching towards George. "Well, I'm sure we can arrange something but for now maybe we should-" George started, he knew where this was going, and not that he didn't want it, but being a famous general does seem to attract speculation. 

____

"Fuck?" Theodosia said fake pondering like it was life or death, to her it was. She really wanted, no needed his big salami to bend her over like origami. 

____

George just stared at her, he wasn't surprised at her request but was this woman really asking him like that? George was a classy girl and like the saying goes classy, not assy. George at least wanted dinner and a movie, he didn't wanna seem thirsty. But, Martha had been away to attend to her sick mother for some time, and this chick- she was practically begging for his big salami to bend her over like origami, he couldn't help it. 

____

"Well, I mean maybe that would be appropriate..." He had to think of a way to make this a one-time thing but also maybe just a little bit more " an appropriate way to thank me for letting you stay in my humble abode. Yes, very appropriate, I would think so myself" George said fidgeting "Yes, the only appropriate [inter]course of action" Theodosia sputtered out desperately nodding as if he might change his mind any second, and she needed this. 

____

Theodosia got on her knees facing Washington undoing his pants, she was going to lap him up like a hearty stew, boy did he bite off more than she could chew. She then took his peni in her hands and stroked it passionately as if it were her pet Fido. Not to say this creeped out George, but he didn't say anything. Martha was so conservative, but is this really what he wanted? Yes. He was going to go through with this, and he was going to love every second of this lewd crime they were about to commit. 

____

After Theodosia had finished petting Fido she took him in her mouth and gargled him as if he was mouthwash (which to her he was in this sense). When that weird act was over she got on his desk, not before smashing all of Washington's precious documents and letters on the ground. Send aid to the troops? I think not! 

____

"Peirce me with you big dick energy, sugar daddy!" Theodosia would have yelled, but there were others in that household, so she did her best attempt to whisper. However, to Washington, it was more of a loud hoarse scream in his ear. Regardless, George complied to her request as he took out all the big dick energy he had stored and fucked the fuck out of Theodosia.

____

**Author's Note:**

> I dont possibly know how something so short can take so long. I'm real sorry this even exists. 
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> ps random italics is due to my shitty formatting, please just ignore it,   
>  or don't I would hate me for it too


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